at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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