True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
