so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
