I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
