Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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