; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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