I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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