I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
