i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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