she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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