I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
foreskin is a definite game changer
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
