..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
