we have officially lost it.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize
