You can't special order awesome
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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