And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
