ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
