my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
