is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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