Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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