She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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