It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
