I wish I could punch you in the face.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So much rum. So many feels.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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