Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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