we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
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it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
They left me at home... I'm a liability
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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