I want to make a zoo with you.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
