Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
