I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
