are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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