I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
