new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
