Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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