Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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