remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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