Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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