i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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