Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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