i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
