i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She even gives head with a lisp.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
