I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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