Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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