Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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