I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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