He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
