I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
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he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
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I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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