You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
