38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
