Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
