Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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