nut hugger
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
