Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I see more hoeing in ur future
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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