I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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