Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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