And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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