I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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