Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
