i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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