if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I am naked and annoyed.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
