just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
